Here we are on Valentine’s Day celebrating love when vitriol is sweeping our country like wildfire. People are sorting into sides and splitting off in relationships. Not only over politics, gender identity, race relations and religion, but it is seeping into the workplace, infiltrating friendships and dividing families. In my work as a psychotherapist and Spiritual Director, I hear stories everyday of adult children estranging from parents with no given reason. The phenomenon of polarization is growing becoming epidemic in every sphere of society. Jesus sums up the subject with a strong statement: “A house divided against itself can’t stand” (Mark 3:25).
Psychologist Jan-Willem van Prooijens, defines polarization as “the extent to which citizens become ideologically entrenched in their own values and political beliefs… increasing the divide with citizens who hold different values… fueling a perception of society as a struggle between us versus them” (1). Breaking it down, this form of resistance digs it’s heels in and “affects all that we hold dear,” adds Aaron Wessman author of “The Church’s Mission In A Polarized World” (2).
Responding to Wessman’s watershed book in a Flocolare forum (3), John Mark Falkenhain reflected on neutralizing polarization: “It helps to distinguish between “positive/negative” and “positive/positive” polarities,” he noted. Positive/negative refers to opposites like good vs evil. This kind is resolved by eradicating one opposite in favor of the other. Whereas, positive/positive polarities are not opposites, but differences like republican/democrat, protestant/ catholic, etc. Here, instead of eradicating the opposite we hold differences in tension seeking a higher truth. We don’t cut off, we become curious. This middle way is reflected by 6th C Monastic St Benedict, who preferred moderation building bridges not barriers. He followed Jesus model “who is our peace who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility” (Ephesians 2:14). Like Benedict, people seeking peace for the sake of the common good are also called to be like a bridge over troubled waters, but how? Does Benedict’s ancient way have anything to say to a world torn apart by turmoil today?
Well, first of all Benedictine spirituality sees all people equal as created in God’s image. He didn’t judge people based on skin color, politics, gender, religion, education or what they had in a bank account. He saw God in each one and simply bowed down. I haven’t bowed yet, but a man living closely invited me to see equal. He makes a living poaching what neighbors throw away and sells it for profit. Most days he walks by my house to take a seat on a bench bounded by our community garden. Going silent, I judged this man. Walking my dog, I looked away and passed him on the other side of the street without a word. I refused to catch his eye and saw him as anything but equal. I’m an Oblate who shows up for Daily Hours so God got my attention. Wriggling on a hook held by God’s gaze, I was goaded to see this gentleman differently. Being stubborn, I took small steps. But I began to look him in the eye when he went by and blurted out a greeting not hollow.
Second, Benedict looks beyond equal and sees all beloved because the Divine Spark dwells in them. This imputed worthiness lays the groundwork for a stable self- identity in a media driven cancel culture society. Held tight at the Center by a Source Greater than Ourselves is a deep well to see ourselves solid offering hospitality to strangers. Jan Richardson’s Lenten poem invites this:
If you would enter
into the wilderness,
do not begin
without a blessing.
Do not leave
without hearing
who you are:
Beloved,
named by the One
who has traveled this path
before you.
Do not go
without letting it echo
in your ears,
and if you find
it is hard
to let it into your heart,
do not despair.
That is what
this journey is for (4).
Summarily, Benedict who was the father of Western Monasticism saw people equal, beloved and accepted just as they were not how he wanted them to be. Given his relational orientation, its notable that Benedict began his faith journey as a hermit. But It was living as a loner that caused him to take a long inside look giving insight into the self and others that made him opt for community. He came to the conviction living in a cave that people’s rough edges are best honed in community not by cutting off. No. Instead by opening our arms wide to strangers even enemies no matter how irritating.
The majority of us don’t live in either a cave or a monastery as Benedict did. We don’t follow a Rule nor answer to an Abbot. Our monastery is in our family, friends, work, church, city…wherever we encounter people. No abbot accountability, but maybe angels aware who call us to a higher standard or a kinder stance for the common good of a watching world. Right here where we stand we have a choice. We can call them names, blame them for the problem or we can cross over (5).
Jesus did that. Benedict did that. But there is no formula for that. That said-pigeonholing people, pathologizing them, playing polite, going silent, or just tolerating isn’t what Benedict had in mind. He saw them as equal, bowed to them as beloved, and welcomed the stranger “as Christ, for he himself will say: “I was a stranger and you welcomed me” (6). It seems to me that this 1500 year old spiritually has something to say to a split, seething simmering people. It’s an invitation to a way to build bridges not barriers. And “like a bridge over troubled waters, I will lay me down” (7).
EndNotes
1.Jan-Willem van Prooijens, “The Psychology of Political Polarization,” Current Issues in Social Psychology, (2021): p2.
2. Aaron Wessman, “The Church’s Mission In A Polarized World,” Introduction.
3. Flocolarehttps, //www.focolare.us/event/healing-a-polarized-world/, (April.27, 2022).
4. Jan Richardson, “Beloved Is Where We Begin,” https://paintedprayerbook.com/2016/02/11/lent-1-beloved-is-where-we-begin/
5. Aaron Wessman, ibid, 159-189.
6. The Rule of ST Benedict, Timothy Frye, ed; (1981), The Reception of Guests, 53:1, p 83.
7. Simon and Garfunkel, (1970).
Dr. Beverly Weinhold, LPCC 
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